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Chapter Two: Physical Health Is Sexual Health

If you want to have good sex you need to have good physical health. That doesn't necessarily mean physical maladies will bring your sex life to an end. But I know from personal experience that physical unhealthiness can and does interfere. For instance, I was recently diagnosed with arthritis in one knee. One of the reasons I finally went to the doctor is because it was interfering with my sex life (I didn't tell the doctor that). I had lost much of the flexibility in my knee and I was in constant pain so, obviously, it had an impact on my sexual performance.

I cover the topic of health and physical fitness in another book in The 21st Century Sage series so in this missive I will touch on just a few, most important aspects, of physical health as it pertains to sexual health.

One of the obvious things to consider is stamina. There is nothing worse then finding yourself struggling during lovemaking because you haven't got enough juice to keep going. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we tend to let our physical condition slide. I know what it's like; life is busy and it never seems to get any less busy. I used to think that when I reached my fifties, life would be much slower and less complicated. It has been just the opposite. Life seems more chaotic now than ever. I have more responsibilities, more relationships to maintain and less time to get everything done - or so it seems. Nevertheless it's very important for us to maintain good physical condition if we want to maintain a good love life.

I was an athlete hit high school and maintained top physical condition for many years thereafter. I used to run, lift weights, ride a bike and so on. But over the years the one exercise I have found to be most helpful is walking. That's right, just walking. It doesn't require anything other than a decent pair of shoes and a place to walk. Some people like to walk on a treadmill but I prefer to be outside walking through the neighborhood or whatever. In fact, I had a night security job once that required me to walk about eight miles a night. I used to walk the route wearing a pair of heavy work boots. When I first started the job I dropped a bunch of excess weight right away. As long as I worked the job I maintained a level of stamina (flexibility as well) that I had not experienced for some time.

It isn't just stamina we need in order to perform in bed. Overall strength is also important. You may be wondering why muscle strength is important if you want to be a good lover but you will have to wait until a later chapter to find out. Suffice it to say at this point, upper body and core strength is helpful when having sex.

A side benefit of this is that you will look better if you stay in good physical condition. I would be the first person to say that mature adults should not be hung up on how their spouse looks. All of us age and none of us are going to look twenty five or thirty for the rest of our life. However, I really like it when my wife tells me I'm sexy. And she tells me I'm sexy more often when I maintain good physical condition. Just this fact alone helps in bed. If your spouse thinks you're sexy she will be turned on more and you are going to be more turned on and responsive as well.

I have had people tell me they don't really need to exercise because they have an active job. Maybe they are on their feet every day for many hours or they do a lot of walking like I did on the security job. Sometimes that physical activity is adequate. The night security job I told you about was a lot like walking around an eight mile track several times a night. There were checkpoints that had to be visited each patrol and we were supposed to keep moving the entire time. But a lot of jobs that seem active don't really cut the mustard. You see, exercise is supposed to be planned, purposeful and repetitive. It's supposed to target certain aspects of your physical condition. So, take a good look at your "active lifestyle" and make sure you are not fooling yourself. Again, I cover physical fitness in greater detail in my book dedicated to that subject.

In addition to physical exercise we need to keep an eye on our diet. I'm not telling you anything new here when I say we all should take care to eat right. However, I might be saying something new to you when I tell you that you ought to eat right for your type. Let me explain.

My wife is a nutritional guru and she has put me on a diet built around my blood type. Now before you scoff and tossed this book over your shoulder let me tell you a little story.

I happen to love beef. So for a long time, my wife was providing lots of the yummy stuff for my lunch and dinner every day. Unfortunately the longer I ate a diet heavy on beef, the more sluggish, tired - and heavy - I became. This isn't because there's something wrong with red meat. It is because according to my blood type I'm supposed to eat fish and chicken. Things got so bad that I began to fall asleep while driving home. After waking up with the car half off the road a couple times (at sixty five miles an hour) my wife checked my blood type, did a little research and offered some life changing advice. Thankfully I decided to follow her advice. I am here to tell you I am not only able to stay awake while driving these days (a real benefit as you might imagine) but I feel better overall. Moreover, eating according to this plan enabled me to lose a significant amount of weight even though I was not dieting, per se.

So consider what you eat. Don't cut out red meat just because the "experts" tell you there's something wrong with it. I would suggest you buy the book Eat Right 4 Your Type and give it a try.1 By the way, I don't get anything for mentioning this book and in fact I'll will leave it up to you to find it and buy it (no link provided). But again, I do recommend this approach.

The other aspect of diet is to make sure we do not overeat. Even if we are eating the right kinds of foods we will gain weight if we eat too much of them. Several years ago my brother lost a ton of weight and when I asked him what he had done to shed the extra pounds he replied very simply "portion control." He went on to tell me he hadn't changed the types of food he was eating, he was just eating less. Obviously this is a matter of self control and one of the ways I have controlled my food intake is to practice intermittent fasting. I first read about intermittent fasting on Dr. Mercola's website2 and the concept appealed to me so I thought I would give it a try.

In a nutshell, intermittent fasting is the practice of limiting your food intake to a certain six to eight hour span during the day. In my case, I limited my food intake to the hours of one to eight pm. I've never been much of a breakfast eater but I have long had the habit of eating big snacks late at night. As Dr. Mercola says, one of the things you shouldn't do is eat in the last three hours before go to bed. Once again, I found that practicing intermittent fasting as I've just described enabled me to lose a lot of weight. The biggest drawback was that my pants didn't fit anymore.

All these things contribute to our ability to enjoy a sexual relationship with our spouse. If we have adequate stamina and muscular strength, if we are not overweight or sluggish because of our diet we will feel better and perform better in bed. Again, this is just common sense but there are a lot of people who never think of these things and so their sex life suffers.

I remember when Viagra first hit the market and it seemed like everyone was talking about it. That marketing saturation seems to have slowed down a bit but it's still a big deal - especially to older men. I never considered using Viagra but a few years ago I noticed a sharp decline in my ability to perform sexually. I was having trouble getting and maintaining an erection and it had a tremendous negative impact on my love life. My wife decided to take the problem in hand (no pun intended) and found some natural herbal supplements that she thought would solve my problem. Lo and behold she was right. I began to take (a particular product I won't name - there are dozens on the market)3 and within a matter of days I experienced an increase in my ability to get and maintain an erection. Not only that, my libido cranked up several notches. It took a little while to figure out how much I needed each day (I wasn't interested in regaining the aggression I had in my twenties) but once that was determined I found the increase in sexual desire, sexual performance and overall physical energy, wonderful.

There are a number of other herbs and supplements that can have a significant impact on your physical and sexual health and I recommend you do some research in that area if you are suffering from decreased libido. What you need to realize is that there are some simple, inexpensive ways you can improve your sexual performance no matter what your age. It's not just men who may benefit from herbs and supplements. There is a long list of nutritional supplements a woman can take in order to enhance her physical and sexual well-being as well. Really all you need to do is "Google" the topic and you should be able to find plenty of information.

One thing I'll tell you up front is that your personal doctor will probably say it's a waste of time to take vitamins, herbs and other supplements. I don't claim to be a medical doctor and nothing I am telling you here should be understood as professional medical advice. At the same time, I will tell you that I always ignore the doctor when he says I'm wasting my time and money on supplements. I know from personal experience that he doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to nutrition. Indeed, it has been my experience that very few doctors (or traditional medical professionals in general) have any familiarity with the field of nutrition.

Another thing you might be dealing with is a variety of physical maladies. This is one area where your doctor should be regarded closely. If you have suffered a heart attack, are afflicted with diabetes and so on, you need to pay careful attention to your doctor's advice. I have been blessed with generally good health and have never had to deal with the aftermath of a major physical condition. Yet my advice to those of you who have endured these kind of health issues is to be in close communication with your doctor. He might tell you to abstain from sex for a period of time until your body has had a chance to heal (on the other hand, I can't think of a better way to go then in the act of making love to my wife - she wouldn't be too happy about it though). In short, you need to put your overall health first when recovering from a heart attack, cancer treatment and so on.

A final area of physical health that has a direct impact on your sexual performance is bodily hygiene. I realize there may be some couples out there who find a stinky, dirty sexual partner a turn on but most of us prefer our spouse to be clean and tidy when we make love. Anyway, this should be common sense. Don't come home from work sweaty, greasy and smelly and expect your wife to accept your sexual overtures and jump right into bed. The bottom line is, think of the other person first. Recognize the need for common courtesy in your marriage relationship. There is never a time when discourtesy is appropriate.

Exercise, diet, supplements and personal hygiene all contribute to a satisfying sex life. As you care for your body you are showing care for your spouse. As you treat your own body well, you signal the desire to treat your lover's body with care also. One one way to express this in a practical fashion is to work together on physical fitness, diet and so on. Even the camaraderie of shared activity will contribute to a pleasurable sex life.

A Man's Guide To Great Sex Starting Today

Chapter One: The Foundation Of Good Sex
Chapter Two: Physical Health Is Sexual Health
Chapter Three: Mental Health Is Sexual Health
Chapter Four: The Act Of Making Love
Chapter Five: Keeping It Real Fresh And Satisfying
Closing Thoughts

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